Light's Out
by Bourbon Rose
Summary: The original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and instead in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead. Jogan AU. Based off CP Coulter's fic Dalton.


**Summary: The_ original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and instead in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead._**

**Disclaimer: Julian and Logan belong to CP Coulter.**

**Sorry for the grammar mistakes.**

* * *

There's a storm the night they first meet. A storm that forces thunder to crack the sky into a million pieces, making rain stream out of the wounds and drown out the earth. The ocean is fighting with the air, her waves clashing and slamming up and down and left and right, roaring as she struggles to tone down the howling of the wind. The wind cuts through the water like a hot knife slices through butter, and the ocean screams as she tries hard not to let it break her. She's winning the fight, but only barely.

When the wind hits the land instead of the water, it rages over more than just the beach and the plants. A young prince is walking there, his golden hair whipping around his face, his muscular arms desperately hugging his body in an attempt to keep warm. His brilliant green eyes search the surroundings for something that can offer as a hide-out, but it's extremely difficult to see through the rain. He starts to walk faster, longing to be home and to crawl in his warm, cozy bed—but before he can take two steps, a gigantic gush of wind slams him down to the soaked ground.

With his heart pounding in his throat, he can barely scream out for help before he gets swooped up and thrown into the ocean.

The water immediately closes around him—dark, menacing and freezing cold. It's also strangely peaceful, the serenity such a contrast to the terrifying storm above, that the prince forgets to panic for a few moments. But his chests starts to hurt, his lungs demand air, and the moment panic sets in is the moment he realizes he can't seem to swim through the wild water.

The prince looks around in terror, his expressive eyes filled with pure dread as he searches for an escape. He's shocked when, instead of a way out, he finds a different pair of eyes watching him carefully. These eyes are a bright sepia, their expression curious and surprisingly calm with the hurricane literally hanging over their heads. Before the prince blacks out, he sees the sudden worry in them and the strong movements of the creature's tail when it swims towards him faster than anything the prince has ever seen before.

When the storm ends, the prince is lying on his back on the beach, his lungs struggling for oxygen the same way his blood is marching forcefully through his veins. As he's gazing up at the sky—the very, very clear sky—he's not even noticing the blue, instead seeing extraordinary eyes with the color of sunbeams glittering off dripping honey.

The longer he stares at his memory, the more he yearns to see those eyes again.

* * *

The next day—after the prince staggered back to his home and slept for hours and _hours_ in his warm bed—he skips breakfast and heads over to the beach the minute dawn sets in. It's like the mermaid has waited for him, because when the prince steps on the rocks surrounding a shallow patch of ocean, the water breaks and sepia eyes drill into green ones.

For a long time, they don't speak. The prince sits down—slowly, almost as if the mystical creature is an ordinary deer that'll jump away when he makes too much noise—and the mermaid swims a lazy circle and settles against the rocks opposite of the prince.

They stare at each other. Examine each other.

The mermaid is beautiful, the young prince discovers. He has dark, gleaming hair that falls in gentle waves just below his ears. His skin is slightly tanned and dripping water, his muscles rippling easily with every cautious movement. But his eyes… his eyes are the ones the prince remembers—bright as the sun and deep as the ocean, laced by black lashes that don't seem to end. The mermaid's tail is hidden in the water, but every once in a while the prince can see something big and muscular sparkle like diamonds underneath the waves. He's in awe.

After what seems like hours—in which the mermaid scrutinizes the prince just as closely—the creature in the water speaks.

"You almost drowned yesterday."

The prince frowns. He didn't expect the mermaid to remind him of that, but then again, what _did_ he expect? So instead of a clever response—suddenly he's sure the mermaid won't appreciate his sarcasm now—he only nods and confirms the fact grudgingly.

"I did."

The mermaid raises an eyebrow, presses his full lips together, and the prince can't help but marvel at his beauty. He wonders if all mermaids look like this or if this one is some kind of prince too or if it's just his own imagination playing tricks on him.

He remembers the fairy tales (of beautiful mermaids, with exquisite faces, gorgeous voices and marvelous grace) and the horror stories (of alluring creatures, their seductive songs and dazzling masks leering you into the sea to drown and kill you). He used to be a firm believer of the latter story. Fairy tales are for children and the young prince hasn't been a child since he was five years old.

When the mermaid in front of him moves, the water flows around him in spirals and the reflected sunlight illuminates his delicate face. Somehow, the prince can't imagine this creature to be as vicious and cruel as the horror stories claim them to be. And if he is—if this is all a trick, some kind of crude predatory game—it wouldn't be such a bad way to die anyway.

"I saved you," the mermaid murmurs, his fingers playing with the water, his eyes downcast as he watches them flit up and down.

"You did," the prince breathes.

The mermaid's eyes snap up suddenly—their expression fierce, majestic and terrifying—and it's all the prince can do to continue breathing.

_In… out… in… out…_

"Don't you think you owe me?"

He stops breathing, his heart pounding in his chest. Unconsciously, the prince's hand creeps towards the knife on his belt.

_Not a bad way to die_.

The water protests only a little when the mermaid dives under and when he emerges right next to the prince, the prince yelps and pulls his knife with every intention to stab the creature. But then the mermaid smiles and it's such a breathtaking sight, so honest and sincere and pure, that the weapon slips from the prince's fingers. He doesn't see it fall, but the knife sinks as fast as the heart of its owner.

The mermaid leans forward, his light eyes sparkling and his lips curling up in a cheeky grin.

"Don't you think you should at _least_ tell me your name?"

The prince breaks into a smile of his own and when he laughs, even the mermaid raises his eyebrows in wonder.

* * *

As the sky works on getting its healthy blue color back, the mermaid and the prince talk, talk, and talk some more. Logan comes to the rocks every morning and Julian is already waiting impatiently most of the time, diving in and out of the water in an effort to make time go faster. Sometimes Logan doesn't announce his arrival and he stands in the shadows staring at the mermaid's enchanting movements, completely infatuated with the elegant way Julian darts through the water.

They talk about a lot of things, including the most basic ones. Julian learns that Logan hates his father and that he dreads being King when the time comes (and the time will come). Logan discovers Julian's strange humor and his impossible jealousy of humans because they're able to walk any place they want. Julian pronounces his love for the moon and the rain, and when Logan admits he can sing, the mermaid's face lights up in childlike excitement. They waste the rest of the day singing quiet songs to each other. Julian is silent and astonished when Logan sings (he's making the prince sing for an entire hour before he's satisfied) and Logan is only mildly surprised when he finds out that Julian's smooth voice does not, in fact, make him want to jump in the ocean and drown himself.

When the days weave into weeks, their conversations turn deeper and they learn about the dark shadows way below the surface. It's in these moments they're closest; when they know about the blackest parts of each other, but still want to be together.

Their love blossoms the way the weather is clearing up after the terrifying hurricane: slowly and steadily, with all the patience in the world. Patches of rain soak them sometimes, but the blue sky is always present, waiting patiently just behind the dark clouds. And both the mermaid and the prince know that it's only a matter of time before the clear blue will triumph over the bad weather.

* * *

The last downpour of the lingering storm is falling onto the land and reuniting with the ocean, and Julian is relishing in it. Logan is standing on the shore, completely soaked and chagrined, grudgingly finding out how much Julian actually likes the rain.

The mermaid grins up at him, his bright eyes a nice replacement for the hidden sun, and raises his tail to splash some water at Logan. The prince narrows his eyes, dragging his drenched hair back.

"That was unnecessary," he remarks dryly.

Julian carefully examines Logan for a few seconds, then the catty smirk returns. "I think you're not nearly wet enough."

Logan crosses his arms and makes to turn around. "Well, since you want me to have pneumonia so badly, I think I'm going back home and crawl in my nice, _warm_ bed."

"Wait!" Julian shoots through the water and reaches out to grab Logan's ankle. "I have a better idea—" And with that, he yanks Logan into the water, laughing in delight when the prince yells and proceeds to shout every curse word he knows.

"What the hell are you _doing_, it's _cold_!"

"Oh shut up, you're completely exaggerating," Julian teases, but he embraces the soaked prince anyway, nuzzling his face in Logan's shoulder. "It's nice in here."

Logan sighs, wrapping his arms around Julian's slender waist and pulling him against him. He buries his face in the mermaid's dark hair and slowly breathes in and out, inhaling Julian's nice scent. "…I guess you're right."

"Told you so."

"Still doesn't make you any less rude though."

Julian sniffs. "Whatever."

"_Whatever_."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Logan sighs and lifts Julian's chin with two fingers. Their eyes meet and Julian can see the slight hesitation in Logan's stare.

"Can I ask you something?"

Julian frowns in confusion, but nods anyway. "Of course."

"Have you… ever loved someone so much it hurts?"

Julian's eyes widen and he swears his heart skips a beat, but he tilts his head in wonder and tries not to look too panicked. "Loved someone?"

"Yes."

"I think... I think I have." Julian starts to play with the water (Logan recognizes it as a nervous habit now) and stares up at the prince, who's watching him intently. His head dips in a tiny nod. "Loved someone so much it hurts, I mean."

Logan's eyes grow large in curiosity and, unconsciously, he pulls Julian closer. "You know all those love stories? Was it like that?"

"If you mean the happy, beautiful ones…?"

"Yeah."

"_I_ think so."

"When did it happen? When were you in love?"

"I think..."

Logan's lips twitch up in an involuntarily smirk at Julian's doubtful answers. "You think too much, you know. When?"

The confession is as soft as the breeze whispering over the water.

"...now."

Logan leans back in amazement, his eyes wide as he stares at Julian for a long time. Julian barely dares to glance up, but when he does, Logan is gazing at him with an universe of love in his eyes and the most tender smile on his lips. The prince cups the mermaid's cheek and while the rain pours down on them, engulfing them in a world entirely of their own, their lips meet in a soft, wonderful kiss. And even though Julian never gets cold, it sends shivers down his back, and even though Logan's been in the icy water for a long time now, it warms him to the core.

They kiss until the rain makes place for the night, and it's not until the moon shines down on them that they break apart. Gasping for breath, they stare at each other with eyes that have captured all the stars in the sky and their embrace becomes so tight it nearly hurts.

After this, it becomes painfully clear to them they can't really live without each other, and somewhere between the days their initial friendship grows into love. It's scary, exhilarating, and frees all the dreams hiding in the darkest places of their hearts.

Bing apart doesn't work well for them anymore. Logan's heart aches when he has to leave to go home, hating the stupid castle and his intolerable father more with every passing day. And when Julian has to dive back to the depths of the ocean, the swim takes longer and longer every single day. It's incredibly exhausting to move away from Logan, whereas moving _towards_ Logan—something he does every morning just when the sun rises—is the easiest thing in the world.

They are each other's light in the night, shining brightly and brilliantly enough to drive away all the shadows and demons in their hearts so they can be whole again.

* * *

Stories always change, always have to turn adventurous and wander off onto roads you don't know are glorious or dangerous, for the better or the worst.

Even the really, really good ones.

* * *

"Logan."

The prince looks up, his green eyes catching the sunlight and holding it prisoner. He smirks a little when he looks down at the mermaid lounging in the water, his tail lazily flopping up and down every once in a while.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you keep coming down here?" Julian's face is serious, his teeth nervously biting his bottom lip.

Logan doesn't seem to notice the mermaid's worry and cocks his head as he considers the question. "Because you're obviously lonely and _someone_ should keep you company?" When Julian doesn't react immediately, the prince rolls his eyes and scoffs, "because I like being with you, maybe?"

Julian frowns, obviously preoccupied with other concerns. "Why would you think I'm lonely?"

Logan, oblivious and blunt as always, tells him, "Why else would you hang out with a human and not with one of your own people?"

They're always cracking jokes, teasing each other more than once, but this time Julian doesn't laugh. Instead, his caramel eyes glisten dangerously and before Logan can apologize, Julian turns around and disappears into the ocean. Logan stares at the water for a long time (he thinks he can still see Julian's shining tail) and waits even longer after that, hoping that this is just another one of the mermaid's strange jokes.

* * *

Julian stays under for about three days and each day Logan comes back and waits until hunger and thirst drive him back home. He calls out apologies until he can physically feel his pride crack, he shouts Julian's name until his words come out in pathetic rasps—but when the mermaid chooses to finally return, it's when the prince is silent and dead asleep.

The moon is casting her enticing glow across the ocean, and when Julian quietly breaks the surface she welcomes him by showering him in yellow light, her beams reflecting off the droplets falling from his hair and face. Julian lifts his head and smiles at her in gratitude. However, when he looks around and recognizes the prince lying on the shore, his smile quickly fades and his tail sweeps through the water in frustration.

With a few effortless movements, he slices through the water as easily as a bird sails through the sky. As he swims closer and closer to the sleeping prince—_his_ sleeping prince, his own light in the night—the words of his father and the demands of his people race through his head.

_It is forbidden to speak to people of the land._

_It is forbidden to fall in love with people of the land. _

_What you are doing is wrong and you have to stop_.

_You have to __**stop**__._

Only Ursula had nodded at him in approval, her gorgeous silky hair billowing through the water like ink when she'd swum closer.

"Do you want to be with him forever?"

Julian had stared at her for a long time before realizing what she had meant. Shocked, he'd gazed at her and then downwards, imagining two pale legs instead of the magnificent glittering tail that was carrying his weight in the water.

_Do you want to be with him forever?_

Forcing the memories away and returning to the present, Julian hugs his body and just watches Logan for a while. The prince looks incredibly serene and peaceful when he's sleeping and Julian aches to hold him, yearns to _really_ be with him. A tear slips down his cheek and for one moment he allows himself to _hate_ the world, to utterly _hate_ the unfairness of it all.

He even dares to compare himself to the glorious moon and her love affair with the light of the sun, crying softly when he thinks of their matching stories. Both of their loved ones are close enough to touch, but never can they do more than touch them for a moment, before they're forcefully pushed away by powers that go beyond them. They can never be _together_. But whereas the light of the moon's life keeps coming back to her every night (it's sad really, the way the sun's always longingly reaching out towards the moon, but is never able to embrace her), Julian knows Logan won't be waiting on the shore forever.

The moonlight turns Logan's hair silver, a color strikingly similar to the ocean Julian calls home, and the last remains of doubt flee the mermaid's heart.

_Do you want to be with him forever?_

Julian shivers, because, for the first time in his life, the water feels cold to his skin.

* * *

When Logan wakes up and finds Julian sitting next to him, the prince immediately starts reciting a string of insults and profanities for making him wait and worry for _three days straight_. After he's finished and Julian's just calmly blinking up at him, Logan heaves the mermaid out of the water and holds him close to his chest.

"Where did you _go_? Don't _ever_ do that to me again."

Julian closes his eyes, presses his lips to Logan's collarbone, and embraces him as tightly as he can.

"I won't, I'm sorry."

"Promise me."

Julian sighs shakily and nods, his voice thick with emotions when he whispers, "I promise."

* * *

"But what do I _do_?" Julian asks desperately, slashing his tail through the water to keep up with Ursula's fast pace. "What am I supposed to _do_?"

Ursula rolls her mesmerizing blue eyes and flicks her wrist impatiently. "It's not that hard, Julian. Do you want to be with him forever?"

"Yes." Julian doesn't have to think about the answer—it's as clear as the fact that the sky is up and the bottom of the ocean is down. Julian loves Logan and can't stand being apart from him like this.

"Are you prepared to give up your tail for him?" Ursula asks with narrowed eyes, dark shadows giving her delicate face something grotesque. Julian isn't sure he finds her that beautiful anymore.

However, in comparison to Logan everyone pales, of course.

"_Yes_."

"Are you _sure_? You'll never see your father again, you'll never speak to your mother again—"

Julian frowns and turns around when Ursula starts pacing back and forth. "What are you talking about? They can still come to the surface to talk to me."

Ursula sighs and drags a hand over her face. "It's not that _simple_, Julian."

"You just told me it isn't that _hard_!"

She ignored him, her blue eyes flickering up. "Where's your beloved prince now?"

"It's night. He's sleeping."

Silence settles between them for a few seconds, an uncomfortable silence that makes Julian wish Logan was with him. When he realizes what will happen once this all is over, he instantly feels lighter. He _will_ be with him. Forever.

_And_... he closes his eyes in utter delight when he thinks of what else he'll get. He will finally be human, something he's been dreaming of for years.

"There's a price, of course," Ursula's voice is low, menacing, sending shivers down Julian's spine. She slides to one of the many cabinets in her little room and pulls out an angry green bottle. It's tiny, fits neatly inside the palm of her hand, and when she hands it to Julian, he's surprised to feel the unsettling warmth radiating from it.

"What's the price?" Julian whispers, a dark feeling of foreboding flaring up in his stomach.

"Pain," Ursula whispers. All of a sudden, Julian thinks this is a very, very bad idea—but the prospect of being with Logan traps him, holds him captivated behind unbreakable bars of hope and dreams.

Ursula motions to the potion, her face unreadable. "When you drink that, it will feel like a sword passes through your heart and an excruciating pain is going to break all your bones, turn your insides into ice and fire. You will curse the world, hate your life, and resent the love you're sure doesn't even exist anymore. But when the pain is over, the water will be freezing cold to your skin and the sunlight reflected on the waves will blind your eyes. You'll have legs and you'll be able to dance like no human has ever danced before."

Julian's eyes widen at her speech—in fear, in wonder, in utter astonishment—and he looks down at the poison, lying so little and innocent in the palm of his hand.

"This will do all that?" he whispers. Although he's afraid of the pain, he's mesmerized by his potential future. A future as a human. A future with _Logan_.

"But love is a nasty little thing," Ursula continues, her harsh voice as menacing and unpredictable as the waves beating against the rocks of the shore. "And love doesn't come alone. Love isn't a game with only one player." She lifts her chin and the moonlight filtering through the ocean illuminates her cruel expression. She looks powerful and invincible. It terrifies Julian.

"In order to be together forever, in order for true love to keep existing—your young prince must feel the same pain you'll feel." She grins, baring her sharp teeth, her lips curling up in a snarl. All at once she's holding a knife in her hands and Julian's heart drops all the way to the tips of his tail. "You have to stab your pretty prince—"

Julian chokes and starts to protest until Ursula shushes him viciously, slashing the knife at him and nearly cutting his skin. Julian backs off, hissing in fear.

"—through his _heart_."

"I can't _stab_ him," Julian rasps, his voice trembling as much as his hands. "I want to be with him forever, all of this is for him, for us—why would I _kill_ Logan?"

Ursula smiles and blinks her pretty, blue eyes. "You won't kill him," she coos, "not if it's true love. And it's true, isn't it?"

"But humans are _fragile_…"

"_Isn't it?_" Her screech echoes through the water and Julian flinches, biting his tongue to stifle his scream.

"_Yes_, it's true love," he chokes.

"You can't be with him forever if you're not _human_, Julian," Ursula snaps venomously. "_This_ will turn you human, _this_ will give you _legs_. It's the only way."

She throws the knife at him and Julian catches it in a reflex.

"It's all up to you now."

Julian looks at her with wide eyes and holds the knife close to his chest, looking as vulnerable as he feels. "I don't..."

Ursula's face splits in a wicked grin and her eyes glitter deliriously.

"Do you want to be with him forever?"

There's not much to think about. The sky is still up and the bottom of the ocean is still down, and Julian loves Logan more than he loves life itself.

He nods.

* * *

He decides to do it on the next full moon.

He considers telling Logan, but when the young prince dives next to him in the water one day, circling his strong arms around the mermaid's waist and kissing his cheek passionately, Julian loses his nerves.

"You're beautiful," Logan murmurs against Julian's tanned skin.

Julian can't help but laugh, his eyes twinkling mischievously when he lays his hands on Logan's chest and tries to push him away. Despite his humanity, Logan's a lot stronger than him. Trapped in Logan's arms Julian can't do anything else than give in to the embrace, and they stay afloat for a few blissful minutes.

"Julian?"

Logan has his eyes closed so Julian can't see their expression, but the peaceful smile on the prince's face speaks absolute volumes.

"Yeah?" Julian breathes.

Logan looks up, opens his eyes, and Julian gasps at the intense emotions he sees in the green gaze.

"I love you."

Julian closes his eyes briefly, his heart stuttering and his breath hitching in his throat—but when he answers Logan's gaze, his smile is genuine and he reaches up to gently cup the prince's face.

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Come down to the ocean on the next full moon."

"Why?"

"I want to show you something."

"Am I going to like it?"

"...I'm not sure. I think so. At least in the end."

"…will you be there?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll like it."

* * *

So when the moon is round and full and the brightest of all, Logan is waiting on the shore. He's listlessly splashing his bare feet in the water, impatiently ticking his fingers against the rocks, and getting really tired of just sitting here. He's been waiting for a long time now and he grows both a little worried and a little angry.

"Come on, Julian," he growls under his breath, shifting a bit on the uncomfortable rocks.

The water is calm tonight, softly brushing the shore every other second, and Logan quickly finds himself breathing in the same rhythm. It works sort of soothing.

_In (silence), out (crash), in (silence), out (crash)…_

He smiles when he remembers that the second time he met Julian he was breathing in a similar manner, and he laughs when he thinks about the fear he was trying to calm down that way.

_Not a bad way to die_.

He still stands by it, Logan thinks with a wide grin.

His heart a little warmer, he continues searching the water.

* * *

Julian feels Logan before he sees him, a vague tingling sensation that cruises through his body from the top of his head to the tip of his tail. When Logan is finally visible through the water, he very much _is_ the light of Julian's night; his emerald eyes bright and sparkling, his pink lips pulled up in a serene smile, his gold-silver hair shining like a halo around his beautiful face.

Despite the revolting thing he needs to do, Julian smiles.

It seems logical to drink the potion first, since Logan needs to feel what Julian feels and if Julian doesn't feel anything how will Logan? So he flips the lid off and puts the bottle to his lips. The liquid is flaming hot on his tongue and when he swallows it's like his throat, and then his entire body, is being pierced with white-hot knifes.

When his fingers clench into fists, the bottle shatters and the glass slices his hands open—but Julian doesn't even notice. He doubles over in horrendous agony and screams and screams and _screams_.

And exactly like Ursula predicted (it seems like a lifetime ago he made this decision, this awfully stupid decision), all thoughts of love, dreams and futures disappear into absolute nothingness.

Intense pain explodes inside of him and it's like hell has risen and chose him as a victim, its fires of murder, torment and despair rapidly spreading through his body—all the way from his heart through his veins to his limbs. It hurts, hurts, _hurts_, and for ages there exists nothing but pain and agony and world is spinning out of control and everything is confusing and blurring around the edges, but through a half-blind vision he sees that the light of the sun in the sky is up and the darkness of the bottom of the ocean is down, and all Julian knows is that he loves Logan. Loves him with all of his heart and all of his soul and everything in between, even if he doesn't know what all of that is. Loves how his hair changes from golden to silver depending on the light of the sun or the moon, loves how he transfers his emotions to his eyes and how intense his stares are, loves how his voice is able to lull him into a peaceful sleep when life gets difficult.

Through the immense pain, Julian manages to glance down at his hand and the knife clenched between his fingers. The moonlight reflects on the gleaming blade and he discovers there are initials carved in the metal.

_J.L.W. III_

John Logan Wright III.

Logan.

_Logan_.

When his heart crashes—literally _crashes_, catching on fire and dropping violently, causing even more pain—Julian realizes this is the same knife Logan wanted to stab him with, that second time they met. He squeezes his eyes shut as the devastating irony overthrows him, and a desperate sob rips from his throat.

And he knows... Julian _knows_… he won't be able to stab Logan. Not if that means the same pain he's enduring right now, _especially _not when it means killing Logan. And he realizes now, when it's much too late to change anything, that it was a trick all along and that true love—even the purity and sanctity of _true love_—can't save someone from a knife through the heart.

* * *

Logan startles when he sees a shadow in the water and after waiting for so long, he instantly knows something is wrong. He moves to his knees, leaning over the rocks in an effort to see through the disfiguring waves.

"Julian?" he whispers, for some reason not daring to speak too loudly. "…Jules?"

When Julian finally emerges, Logan's eyes widen and his heart thumps painfully in his chest. Something is very, _very_ wrong. The mermaid's face is scrunched up in pain, his body shivering violently and tears streaking down his cheeks. He's breathing in quick gasps and every one of them seems to be a torture.

Logan reaches out, endlessly afraid when he carefully touches Julian's cheek. "Julian… what happened?"

Julian coughs, sinks a little deeper in the water, and Logan catches him in a reflex—his hands shooting out and gently holding onto the mermaid's arms. Without really thinking about it, Logan lets himself slide from the rocks so he's in the water himself, gathering the broken mermaid in his arms.

"I love you, I love you, I love you…"

Inside the circle of Logan's arms, Julian whimpers and looks up at the prince with half-crazed eyes.

"I love you," he rasps, "you know that, right?"

Logan is confused, but he nods nevertheless.

"All of this was for you." New tears appear in Julian's eyes and they rival the glittering stars in the night's sky.

Fear grasps Logan's heart and squeezes it with tiny ice cold fists. "What did you do, Julian? What are you talking about?"

"I want to be with you forever," Julian whispers. "_Really _be with you." He swallows and it's blaringly obvious it hurts tremendously. "But I can't do it."

Logan's voice is immeasurably soft and gentle, even when he's a revolting mess on the inside. "What do you mean? What can't you do?"

Fresh tears well up in Julian's beautiful eyes, streaming down his pale cheeks in thick, glistening tracks. Logan stares in terror.

"I'm sorry," the mermaid chokes, "I'm so sorry, Logan. It just—_hurts_ so _much_—"

Logan leans down when Julian reaches up and their lips touch in the most tender kiss, filled with so impossibly much love it warms their hearts and make their souls soar.

Their lips are still brushing together in a lingering kiss when Julian raises his hand (Logan heart stops when he sees the knife in the mermaid's trembling, _bleeding_ fingers) and with a last breath that sounds more like a sob, he plunges the knife through his heart.

Logan wants to scream, wants to stop him, wants to yank the knife out as if that would help—but his heart has stopped and his body is not working correctly, so there's absolutely nothing he can do but watch his very own light in the night go out right before his eyes.

* * *

When the blood is spreading through the water and everything is red, red, red, the moonlight shining down on it as in one of those _awful_ horror stories—that's when Logan's heart (unwillingly) jumps back to life. Julian coughs, falls against Logan's chest, and Logan wishes he could give his own heart and his own blood and his own life.

* * *

"_Julian!_"

* * *

"No no no no no, _please_…"

* * *

"_Please…?_"

* * *

"…"

* * *

_It's easy to love you, Logan. It's as easy as breathing, as familiar as swimming, as effortless and exciting as merely staying alive. It's so natural. Like the sky is up and the bottom of the ocean is down, that's how natural it is to love you._

_And until the sky isn't up anymore and the bottom of the ocean isn't down any longer, I will love you. And when the world ceases to be, when the world has turned around somehow… well… I guess we'd be dead… but I'll still love you. _

_Even when my heart stops beating for me, it will still be beating for you._

_It always will._

* * *

The myth is true. About mermaids dying.

Mermaids do change into foam when they die, their bodies disintegrating and becoming one with their beloved ocean.

Except that Julian doesn't love the ocean the way all mermaids do, and it's completely unfair for him to pass away in such a gruesome manner.

Logan tries one last thing, so desperate and so impossibly shattered, it seems the only rational thing to do. He catches Julian when he falls, cradles his pale face in his hands and brings their lips together for another kiss. This one's not tender at all, but passionate and wild and almost painful in the prince's heartbroken despair.

The kiss is also awfully, _horribly_ one sided.

But a true love's kiss should break the curse, right? It's written in every story, told in every fairy tale, that a true love's kiss breaks _every_ curse. And Logan isn't planning on giving up on this believe, even if all the fairy tales are lies anyway.

Logan crushes Julian against his body and doesn't stop kissing him (_please live, please live, please live_) until the other myth—the one about foam, the one from the _horror stories_—turns out to be true.

And then he can't do anything but scream and cry and plead for this to stop, because he doesn't think he's seen anything more horrifying in his life before.

* * *

Logan stares despondently and paralyzed as the last bits of foam slip between his fingers, irrationally thinking that this is not _fair_. It's not fair at _all_. If Julian becomes one with his most beloved when he dies, it shouldn't be with the ocean. It shouldn't even be with the rain or the moon. It should be with _him_. With _Logan_.

He doesn't know what to do.

He doesn't know what to say.

He doesn't know where to go.

…maybe he should just melt away in the ocean the way Julian did. Maybe if he becomes one with the ocean, he can be one with Julian too.

…does it even work like that?

Eventually he grows tired of having to keep himself afloat for so long, his limbs weary, his body exhausted and drained. He feels like he's lived a million years, feels like he ran all the way to the top of the highest mountain and swam all the way down to the bottom of the deepest ocean. He's tired, but he doesn't move towards the safety of land. He stifles a sob, looks around as if he's searching for something, someone (and maybe, in the back of his head, he actually _is_). He doesn't know what to _do_, isn't sure what turn to take now.

What is your next step when your heart's been cut out so violently and so suddenly, it leaves a gaping, bleeding hole behind?

Maybe he should kill himself too.

_Not a bad way to die._

Except it is now, because Julian isn't here to wave him off to the other side anymore.

He's alone.

* * *

_I love you, Julian. I'd do anything for you, anything possible and impossible, anything you need and even more. And when the world ceases to be and it's managed to turn itself upside down, I will topple it over so it will be standing upright again. Just so the sky is up, the bottom of the ocean is down, and you will love me and I will love you._

_Whatever the future is. Whatever you and I do. We will have our happy ending, whatever it takes and whatever it costs. We _will_ be together, Jules._

_Forever._

* * *

The moon isn't shining anymore, hiding behind the black night in her own way of mourning. It makes the sky exactly as dark as the ocean, with twinkling stars dancing in both the night and the water, and it's like the world has turned around somehow. Logan can't seem to remember which way is up and which way is down, but he knows for sure _his_ world has toppled over, at least. And he knows _his_ heart, _his_ light in the night, got lost the moment Julian disappeared.

Logan closes his eyes and feels tears slide down his cheeks. His heart cracks—he can _feel_ it breaking—but he doesn't really care about the excruciating pain.

Julian is gone.

_Gone_.

Logan sinks a little. And a little more. Until the water closes over his head with a dull splash.

After a few minutes he thinks he sees Julian, smiling and laughing, his sepia eyes as bright as the moon when he reaches out towards the prince. The mermaid grins his familiar catty smile when he cocks his finger and beckons Logan closer.

_Not a bad way to die._

Logan smiles.

* * *

**Reviews are appreciated :)**


End file.
